Thursday, August 14, 2008

the 1970s

You're going to have to deal with reading things like "Of course, (_____insert thing here______) is brilliant! It came out of the 1970s," on a regular basis if you're going to read this blog. You know why? Because I know if this blog came out of the 1970s it would be brilliant, that's why. Now, that's unpossible but a Verger can dream. Oh, how a Verger can dream.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to throw some things out there and see if your puppy can catch them. It might not be that easy for your puppy to do. Might just throw a drift out there and hope your puppy can catch that. Might be a Frisbee. I'm not trying to be condescending here. I am warning you that what I throw out there regarding the 70s might be challenging for your bad self. I'm not talking questionable content. (It's the web. You want I should have to point you in the direction of peep shows? You must be new to this.) I'm talking about stuff that is very obviously dated held up as an example of brilliance. It's easy to do with an ad. You hold up a Volkswagon piece and say "See? This perfect." Easy. No one will argue with the LEMON print piece. I'm talking about ... never mind what I'm talking about I'll show you. Here's how it will go sometimes:

1974. Brian DePalma. The Phantom of the Paradise.

That's right I said it. This one is a must. Why? Here's an idea (from Wiki) of what the film is about. There's no argument here. This movie would never be made today. Never. No matter what. And yet, now is time time to be making movies like this because now we have the technology to support the plot. Now we have the Hellboys and Constantines and all the other Hollywood Marvel rip-offs to support this launch. But no one would make this today. And yet...Brian DePalma did make it. Over 20 years ago. Please take a moment to peruse the plot. And then take a moment to view the trailer on the yube.

Oh did I mention I'm making it my mission to have the entire planet shorten facebook to fboo and youtube to yube? Spread the word. It's organic!

Plot taken (and abridged, come on people this is too long) from Wiki:

The story follows a music composer and singer named Winslow Leach who works as a back-up act to the no-talent nostalgia band The Juicy Fruits, who are produced by Satanic record producer, Swan (played by Paul Williams). Swan is deeply moved by Winslow's pop cantata "Faust", and has his right-hand man Philbin steal it.

When Winslow arrives at Swan's record label, Death Records, he is thrown out. When he tries to find out what's going on, he meets Phoenix, an aspiring singer whom he deems perfect for his music, and the two quickly fall for one another. Swan orders his minions to frame Winslow for drug dealing.

Winslow is given a life sentence in Sing-Sing Prison. In prison, Winslow's teeth are removed and replaced with shiny metal ones. When he hears that The Juicy Fruits, who he hates, have made a record of his music, Winslow goes berserk, escapes and tries to destroy Swan's record factory. His vocal chords are damaged when a security guard shoots him in the throat, and his face is mutilated in a record press accident. Fleeing, he leaps into New York's East River and is presumed dead.

Winslow sneaks into the Paradise, makes up his face and dons an owl-like mask and black leather costume, becoming The Phantom of the Paradise so he can terrorize Swan and his musicians. Swan attaches a voice-box to the Phantom's vocal chords, enabling him to speak and sing (voice of Paul Williams). Swan asks the Phantom to rewrite his cantata for Phoenix. The Phantom reluctantly agrees, on the condition that Phoenix is the lead singer, signing a contract in blood.

Okay so that's the plot but did you catch who plays Swan? Paul Williams. As the Devil. As a villain. Like, a bad guy. He's pretty little and kind of well proper and stuff to play the Devil. Now you have to see the movie, right? Not yet? Check it:

Did I mention Brian DePalma directed this? Brian DePalma. Yeah, you'll hear more about that guy if you don't know who he is. But you should know who he is. How did it perform at the box office? What do you think? It failed. Horribly. Terribly. Wickedly. Flop. Poo. People wouldn't pay to see it.


From the Wiki:

The film was a box-office bomb the year of its initial showings. Curiously, the film's major market during its theatrical release was in Winnipeg, Canada where it stayed in local cinemas over four months continuously and over one year non-continuously until 1976. Relatedly, the soundtrack sold 20,000 copies in Winnipeg alone, and it got Gold status in Canada.

Explain that, Mythbusters! Explain that, Sister Wendy! Explain that, MISTER PEABODY and SHERMAN! Get in your wayback machine and figure that one out because we never will.

If you consider yourself ANY KIND OF WEB GEEK see this movie. It's your duty to spread the word, make it viral and resurrect the presence of this film in pop culture. YOUR DUTY.

Annnnnnnd. I'm done.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Um, you might want to check out if you're into this one ... just a thought.