liza minelli ring tone and the power of the Internet

Ok. I'll buy that you might want a ring tone of her version of New York, New York. You might even want her version of Use Me because it is so weird. You might want any of her cheesmo Broadway stuff because someone out there, beneath the pale moonlight might actually recognize the tune. But this ring tone?

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
'Cause Lisa with an S
Goes "sss" not "zzz"
It's Z instead of S
Li instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See, Liza!
I'll do it again...

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
'Cause Lisa with an S
Goes "sss" not "zzz"
It's Z instead of S
Li instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See, Liza!

Now - if my name were Ada,
I'd be Ada,
Even backwards I'd be Ada
Or if my name were Ruth,
Then I'd be Ruth,
Because with Ruth,
What can you do?
Or Sally, or Margaret, or Ginger or Faye
But when you're a Liza
You always have to say...

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
'Cause Lisa with an S
Goes "sss" not "zzz"
It's Z instead of S
Li instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See, Liza!

Oh! And that is only half of it
There's another way
Fate treats me cruelly.
How often I remember someone saying
"There she goes, Lisa Minooli!"
Or Minoli, or Miniola, or Minili, or Minelie
So is it a wonder, I very often cry?

It's M-I-Double N,
then-E-Double L-I,
You double up the N, thats nn, not ll
Then E, double the L, end it with an I,
That's the way you say Minnelli...
Liza Minnelli,
It's Italian,
Blame it on papa,
What can I do?

Every Sandra
Who's a Sondra,
Every Mary who's really Marie
Every Joan
Who is a Joanne
Has got to agree with me
When I've announced
I don't mind being pommelled
Or trampled or trounced
But it does drive you bats
To be miss, Miss pronounced...

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
'Cause Lisa with an S
Goes "sss" not "zzz"
It's Z instead of S
Li instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See, Liza!

Then M-I-Double N,
then-E-Double L-I,
You double up the N, thats "nn," not "ll,"
Then E, double the L, end it with an I,
That's the way you say...Minnelli...
Liza Minnelli!!
It's easy!
It's easy! See, it's Leezy!
No! Liza........!

Um. Can you tell me who would download this? Not even the biggest Liza drag queen impersonator on the third planet from the sun would bother. It's hard enough to recognize the most famous Beatles song once it's been reduced to a ring tone and this would be unrecognizable to anyone but the most obsessed fan. And yet it is here. This is why the internet is a wonderland.

Behold the power of the Internet! From now on, I shall speak of the Internet as though it were the impetus of He-Man. SHAZAM should have one more letter! SHAZAMI! Eventually the Internet will be so powerful it will feed Niagra Falls. It will reverse global warming and you will be able to see it from the other side of the rift in space that will be created when the LHC finally starts working again. In fact they'll use it to power up the LHC and bring back the El Camino when the Internet can rollerblade across parallel universes and go back in time but not really because time won't be linear because the Internet will have changed that!
The Internet is like Jesus. What would the internet do? The internet is the ultimate YES. There is no NO on the Internet. There is only NO in your heart. The Internet will kick Chuck Norris' ass.

No matter how obscure the fact, it resides somewhere on the web. No matter how useless the ringtone connected to the obscure fact, it too, resides somwhere on the web. Facts are knowledge is power!

Behold.