Thursday, December 4, 2008

OH! Canada

Previously, I wrote about our Canadian culture breeding boring TV and now I'm revisiting that. I feel like I want to stream about that.

And, oh...yeahhhhh....I'm not calling it blogging because I don't really edit much and I don't necessarily read this with a critical eye when I'm done. So I'm calling it streaming instead of blogging because it's so stream of consciousness-y and all.


Anyway...what was I streaming? Oh yeah, that Canadian collective unconscious called NICE, is all well and good but it has direct repercussions on things like our television and our government and our syrup. That begs the question "What happens when we stop being NICE?"

Who's just nice anyway? There has to be more to it that just NICE. That's too vague. And the just nice guy never gets laid. And if he does guess what the review is - "It was nice." Great. Sounds like the perfect reason to waste some KY.

And since there's begging involved let's ask again - What if we stop being NICE? Do we get good TV? Yes.

What's good TV for NICE people who stop being nice???? PARLIAMENT TV! That's what. Good TV in Canada means Question Period - Prime Time. It's like COPS but without any running. It's a bunch of politicians saying "FREEZE or I'll vote your head off!"

You just know a bunch of these guys were sitting around at the cottage with a beer thinking "Hey....what's with that American election being so INTERESTING? An election can be interesting? People can get emotional and....and....CARE? How do we get Canadians to care? We could try a cous. I guess. Ok. Sure let's call the opposition and make sure we don't wear the same thing and then form a coup."

Yeah that's right I'm streaming about all those guys on the hill. You know we should call this drama THE PARLIAMENT HILLS. Cuz there's back talk and rumors and lying and he said and she said and no cool music but's like Spencer and Heidi all of a sudden.

Except there is no all of a sudden. You don't just wake up one day and there's a tree on your front lawn ALL OF A SUDDEN. Somewhere, some time, someone had to plant a seed and day by day that tree has been a-growing so there's no all of a sudden.

Why should Americans have all the fun elections? Why do we get our measly in-and-out-like-the-wind October 14th? And they get THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ELECTION ever? We want our MTV too! THE PARLIAMENT HILLS coalition deal was inevitable. So quit your "WTF happened?" attitude, Prime Minister Harper. You knew they were going to elope. You knew that relationship might blossom and they'd come and to usurp the throne. It was inevitable.

All that being blogged...In good old fashioned Canadian tradition we canceled the entertaining TV before it even began and now parliament is suspended until we get distracted by something else. Thanks guv'ner. Now what are we going to watch? Well there's always the NEW Anne of Green Gables. Starring that great Canadian actress Shirley Maclaine. Oh wait she's not Canadian. Maybe she's part of that alliance that's trying to take down our country and burn our flag! She doesn't even look Canadian. I don't trust her. Vote her out!

Nah. Keep her in. Maybe she'll have an out of body experience on the show and something good will happen on that show. On the plains. In olden times. In the school house. Or on the path. Or in the barn. Or in town or something.

Maybe it will be like Skins.


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